Under Different Circumstances
by Boyue
Summary: Under different circumstances, Pein would have told Deidara how he felt instead of thinking how everything could have happened differently. -PeinDei/Oneshot-


_Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto_

_PeinDei. One-shot._

_Gift for pepperseed on LJ who asked for PeinDei. =D_

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**UNDER DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES

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"From now on, he is your partner."

Pein showed himself as nothing more than a holograph, perched on a high cliff like an alert hawk staring down at his prey. The cave was dim and heavy with moisture from a hidden pond somewhere. Sasori and Deidara stared up at the multi-colors image of their leader. The puppet master tilted his head to Akatsuki's newest recruit and emitted an annoyed growl. Deidara narrowed his eyes and tried to figure out just exactly what he was looking at.

"I'm not responsible if the brat dies," Sasori announced, his real voice altered by the wood panels of Hiruko.

"He's a skilled ninja, I trust he can defend himself," the leader responded.

"Of course I can, un!" the new recruit hollered confidently. His energetic voice was a sharp contrast to those of his seniors.

Pein shifted his attention to the blonde bomber. He couldn't get a clear picture of the newcomer and wondered momentarily if Sasori and Itachi had failed and brought him the wrong person. The ninja in front of him – who for some reason was getting on his tiptoes, perhaps to get a better look at the holograph – was no more than seventeen, eighteen years old. His hair reached below his shoulders and a long bang covered his left eye. He had a slender frame with long limbs. His face was young, as accordance to his age, and he carried an expression of pride and vigor. Pein could tell that the new member was proud of his skills and expertise as a terrorist bomber. It was, after all, the reason why Pein had sought him out. Still, he couldn't help but feel that Deidara might be lacking in experience and obedience, which was why he had paired him with Sasori, in addition to filling the spot Orochimaru had vacated. Sasori was a no-nonsense type of fighter; he would keep the younger one in line.

"Inform him of what needs to be done, Sasori," Pein ordered. "We will begin our hunt for the Jinchuurikis soon."

"How annoying," Sasori grumbled.

Pein lingered for a few more seconds to watch Deidara boastings loudly that he was a better artist than his senior. Sasori grunted a scoff and laced his response with venom. Pein's ringed-eyes gazed deeply at Deidara, who had taken a break from arguing with Sasori and was now boldly meeting the leader's eyes with a confident grin. Pein half-expected the youngest member to give him a thumb-up. He felt a slight – just a very slight – displease when Deidara broke eye contact and resumed his bickering with his partner. He stayed for another minute, growing irritated at how little attention his subordinates were paying him. When he couldn't take the inane argument between them any longer, he released his jutsu and vanished from the dark cave.

The blonde's gray-blue eyes left faint glimpses in his mind.

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"The pink-haired Konoha kunoichi killed Sasori-no-danna," Deidara reported in an exhausted voice that carried a hint of something more. Anger, perhaps, or more so sorrow and grief.

Pein studied the injuries Deidara had sustained from the battle. What good was a ninja without arms? Fortunately, Kakuzu could easily take care of the little problem. The leader normally cared very little about his subordinates' well-beings. Asides from if they were dead or alive, he could care less if they were missing some limbs or going permanently blind. A strange feeling teased his chest when he saw Deidara's bloody stumps and the lackluster expression on his tired face. The Deidara he first met and had gotten to know over the years was full of sass and confidence. The armless ninja in front of him was a shadow of his former self. He slouched and carried a haunted aura with him. His head hanged low. His eyes glued to the muddy ground in the middle of the forest.

Pein couldn't believe it but it was actually hurting him to see the bomber in such a dejected state of being. Where was the spark in the soft blue eyes that Pein had grown fond of? Where was the lopsided grin that sent a tiny bit of joy to his otherwise cold heart? He was… aggravated by the confusing emotion he was experiencing. To top it off, there was a disturbing urge to comfort – more precisely, to touch – Deidara. But, of course, he couldn't. Physically and mentally, he couldn't touch Deidara. For one, he was far away in Amegakure, drenching his body in cold rain. Secondly, it would not bode well for anyone if he were to show a hint of affection for the blonde ninja. It would be biased for sure. There was also his, as well as Akatsuki's, reputation to consider. How would the other members react if they were to know that their leader was secretly infatuated with Deidara? In particular, what would Madara think?

"I see," Pein said calmly, hiding any trace of emotions in his voice. "Tobi will be your new partner. He already has Sasori's ring."

"I don't want a new partner, un," Deidara grumbled defiantly.

"The choice is not up to you, Deidara."

"I don't care, un!" Deidara turned on his heels dramatically. He stomped away from the leader's holograph and leaned on a nearby tree trunk.

"You are a ninja," Pain said, "you should know that emotions are unnecessary and will only hinder your growth and the success of the mission."

"I'm not in the mood for a talk," Deidara spat back angrily. He turned his head slightly and rudely stared at the leader. "Forget about the new partner… I don't want one, un…"

Pein couldn't decide if he should waste his time prep-talking to Deidara about how tragic it was to lose someone like Sasori and that he understood how he felt. He was more… jealous at the moment at how big of a reaction Deidara was giving over Sasori's death. It wasn't as if Deidara didn't know that going on a mission entailed danger and sometimes danger resulted in death. The bomber was acting as if he had no idea what he had gotten himself into when he decided to become a ninja. He was slumping against the tree like a boy throwing a tantrum. No wonder Sasori called him a brat.

"Tobi will be your new partner, rather you like it or not."

"No one can take Sasori-no-danna's place!" Deidara shouted. If he still had his arms, Pein was sure he would've thrown them into the air to emphasize his point.

Pein clenched his fists. He narrowed his eyes and scrutinized the back of Deidara's head. He identified the stir in his chest as jealousy. Was he – the powerful leader of Akatsuki – not better than a half-human-half-puppet whose emotions were so mixed up that the only solace he could find was dying in his puppet parents' arms? He was very unhappy about the thought. If he could get a little closer to Deidara, Pein was certain that he would win the blonde over in a heartbeat.

"Deidara-senpai! Deidara-senpai!" Madara – posing as Tobi – cooed. He ran toward the distraught bomber, waving his arms like an excited manic. "Senpai! Senpai! I am your new partner!"

"Shut up, Tobi, un," Deidara growled.

"Eeeeh, senpai, are you sad that Sasori-san is dead? Don't worry! I am just as good as he is!"

"If you don't stop talking, I'm going to shove so much clay down your mouth that you will shit clay for the rest of your life!"

"Aww, senpai, I was only trying to cheer you up! Eh, look, it's Leader-sama! Hi, Leader-sama!"

Pein had an urge to expose who Tobi really was but knew he might not live long enough to see Deidara's reaction once he learned that the Uchiha of all Uchihas was standing two feet from him. There was probably not much Deidara could do since he was without limbs. But the sheer anger out of the blonde would have sufficed Pein's interest. As he watched Tobi pranced around Deidara, hoping to win his senpai's attention, Pein felt a nausea rising in his stomach. There was a reason why Tobi didn't stick with Zetsu. Madara – that insufferable old man – was, too, captivated by Deidara and had ordered Pein to assign him as Deidara's new partner. Pein had wanted to disobey the order but knew better. Besides, no one was supposed to know how mesmerized he was by those grey blue eyes and luscious blonde strands.

"I will leave you two now. Your next mission is to capture the Sanbi."

Pein didn't stay long enough to hear Deidara's protest, which was cut short by an overexcited comment from Tobi. He glanced up at the ash-gray sky from his post. The sky was perpetually showered by drops of rain that drowned out all noise in the village. He pressed his lips tight and thought he could see Deidara's eyes in the midst of gray. Only now, he wished he didn't.

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"Deidara lost to Uchiha Sasuke."

Pein flicked his eyes to Madara and loathed how calm and cold the Uchiha's voice was. Madara had wanted to get close to Deidara but had failed miserably. Pein figured he must be bitter now that Deidara was dead and his heart still belonged solely to Sasori. He would admit even he was feeling bitter about it… very, very bitter. He found comfort knowing that, unlike Madara, he had not overtly confessed his affection for the Iwa-nin and been blatantly rejected. In his defense-mechanism-triggered thinking, he believed he could have had a chance with Deidara. Under different circumstances, they could very well be lovers, and instead of his childhood friend, Konan, Deidara would be the one sitting beside him. He could run his fingers through those locks that enticed him like a deadly genjutsu. Under different circumstances, he would have never allowed Deidara to self-detonate for a missing-nin that was not worth it. He certainly wouldn't have sat by, like Madara did, and watched Deidara blow himself to smithereens. Under different circumstances, Uchiha Sasuke would be nothing but a puddle of blood and gore after he suffered through God's vengeance.

Under different circumstances… Pein would have told Deidara how he felt instead of thinking how everything could have happened differently.

"My power… Uchiha Madara's power…"

Pein followed Madara's move across the room with little interest, catching on only the latter part of the monologue. Outside, the sky was cackling lightening and roaring thunder. Madara lingered on the edge for a moment, giving an intimidating stare with his visible Sharingan. Pein wasn't in the least intimidated. If needed, his Rinnegan could take on the Sharingan. In fact, he was battling against the urge to send Madara falling down the tall tower. He despised that heartless aura Madara carried with him. Deidara had only just left the world and already Madara was moving on. Pein could understand better now why Deidara refused to let someone take Sasori's spot. Maybe he had sensed the cold-bloodedness in Tobi's veins, but Pein knew now that it was simply too hard to deal with the loss of someone you loved, especially when said love was in secret.

Deidara never told Sasori how he felt, just as Pein would never get to tell Deidara how he felt. Perhaps, Pein thought, it was for the best. Emotions would only get in the way of business, and he had a lot of business to take care of.

"The sky cries again," Konan said softly, turning her thoughtful eyes on her old friend. "Pein, you…"

Pein glanced in front of him, loss in his thought. Thunder howled, drowning out the soft words that Konan was saying. Even without the thunder, Pein wasn't sure if he would've heard anything she said. It wasn't until Konan placed a tender hand on his shoulder that he snapped out of his trance. He gave Konan a nod and set out for Konoha. The rain had not ceased and the storm was getting stronger. Flashes of lightening illuminated the dark sky, and Pein thought the golden sparks in the air reminded him of Deidara's hair. He skidded down the tower and reached ground level.

As soon as his feet touched the ground, the time for mourning was over. And the time to move on began.

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**END

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_Boyue's Note: It was fun writing Leader-sama! I actually really enjoyed this story! I hope I did well… it was my first time. Eep. _

_Pepperseed- Hope you like it! =DD_

_2.02.09_

_3:40 AM_


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